‘Goons’– An Introduction

Last year I wrote a 16.5K word sci-fi story called Goons. It turns out that there are a limited number of paying markets for 16.5K word sci-fi stories, so I’ve decided to publish it on my blog. I’ll post a chapter a day, starting on 1st February. Some of the chapters are teensy little things, while others are proper chapter-sized chapters.

The story

Behind every great supervillain is a great big bloke with sunglasses, a scowl, and a knack for letting his fists do the talking. Goons is written from the perspective of Jay – a bodyguard/driver/lab assistant who works with his best mate, Em. Together, they help their mad scientist boss with his plans to take over the world.

The characters


  • Occasionally gentle giant
  • Chronically curious. A teacher once told him he had the soul of a scientist “but, sadly, not the brains of one”.
  • Likes watching combat sports and 1950s romcoms
  • Underestimates himself
  • Just wants to see what happens next


  • Horse girl at heart
  • Allergic to dresses
  • Has a blackbelt in Brazilian ju-jitsu
  • Cynical bitch. Happy with this.
  • Wants to earn enough money so she can retire to the countryside with her girlfriend and lots of horses


  • Has decided that the world needs fixing and the easiest way to fix it is to rule it
  • IQ of 224 but doesn’t know how to put a duvet cover on a duvet
  • Has a lot of opinions. Doesn’t care about yours.
  • Really ought to get more sleep
  • Wants everything, right now

I’m very excited to share this story because it was a blast to write. If you’ve read Other People’s Butterflies you might notice similarities, such as a first-person perspective, some dubious ethics, and a protagonist whose primary motivation is curiosity.

I’m tempted to call Goons a found-family story, since the relationships between the main characters are so central. But I’m a little concerned that makes it sound sweet and wholesome whereas this family might end up literally killing each other. Anyways, it’s sci-fi, it’s weird, and it’s coming soon!

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