The First Ten Books I Randomly Grabbed from My Shelf

I’m kinda loving the laziness of this Top Ten Tuesday topic! What I’m not loving is how small my bookcase is. I live in a tiny flat and don’t have room for a full-size bookcase, let alone a big library with rolling ladders like I totally deserve.

Nonetheless, I closed my eyes and grabbed ten books at random, and here is what I came away with…

(Please note, this post may contain spoilers.)

Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

I love my gorgeous, illustrated copy of Neverwhere. It’s not my favourite Gaiman novel (that would be Good Omens, which is also my favourite Terry Pratchett novel and my favourite book about the apocalypse) but the world-building is glorious and it makes an ideal introduction to urban fantasy for those who are new to the genre.

Wool by Hugh Howey

I haven’t read this one yet, but I should really get a move on because the TV adaptation is airing on the 5^th May. I know the book is always better than the movie, but I feel like there’s no clear consensus on whether this is true for TV series.

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

I’ve read Little Women twice – once as a teen and once as an adult – and both times I was completely sucked in by it. Alcott’s characters are so vividly drawn, and the joys and griefs of growing up are captured so powerfully.

The only thing I don’t like about this book is the ending. I understand that Alcott was under a lot of pressure from both readers and publishers to get Jo married off, but did it have to be that guy? A boring older man who calls her stories trash? For a more interesting (and queer, and Laurie-centric) ending, read So Many Beginnings by Bethany C. Morrow.

The Evening and the Morning by Ken Follett

This was the first Ken Follett I read, and while I found the plot consistently engaging I’m not sold on Ken Follett’s style. There’s a bit too much “showing off the research”, which is a bugbear of mine. However, he does write in genres other than historical fiction so maybe I should give one of those a try.

Grand Union by Zadie Smith

This excellent short story collection covers just about everything – desire, friendship, cancel culture, futuristic videogames, a trans woman’s attempt to buy a decent corset – with Smith’s incredible skill and generous humour.

The Sisters Brothers by Patrick deWitt

I bought this book after seeing the film but still haven’t read it. The whole time I was watching the film I kept thinking ‘I bet the book goes into this in more detail’, so buying it was an obvious choice. But having seen the film also means there are some scenes I’m dreading because they’re just so grim.

The Mermaid of Black Conch by Monique Roffey

Despite its beautiful prose, this one disappointed me in the same way that most fantasy romances disappoint me – not enough fantasy! I wanted to find out more about the mermaid’s world and instead she just goes to live in a guy’s bathtub and loses her tail.

The Butterfly Room by Lucinda Riley

I’m interested to read a love story with an older protagonist – Posy Montague is approaching her seventieth birthday – but apparently not interested enough because this has been sat on my bookshelf for ages.

Common Bonds by various authors (including me!)

I swear I picked this at random and not to promote my own work (though, err, if you fancy a copy you can buy it here). It’s an anthology of short stories with protagonists who are aromantic – they don’t experience romantic attraction – and with a strong focus on platonic relationships.

My personal favourite is Cinders – a fairytale retelling so crammed with jokes that it makes Shrek look humourless. There’s also father-daughter bonding in space, and a cursed seamstress who becomes friends with a witch. My own story, Spacegirl and the Martian, features a superhero getting drunk and wandering around London with her nemesis.

Rilla of Ingleside by L.M. Montgomery

The author of the Anne of Green Gables series seems to have a reputation for writing cosy, feel-good books. This book, about Anne’s daughter Rilla and her coming-of-age adventures, certainly has its fair share of warmth and sweetness. But it’s also set during WWI, and Rilla has brothers and a love interest being sent away to fight. I may have cried a bit.

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Thanks for taking this haphazard tour of my bookshelves with me. Have you read any of these books? What did you think of them?

Books Without Romance – Why We Need Them and How to Find Them

“Why would anyone want to read a book with no romance in it? Romance is AMAZING and gives you ALL THE FEELS. I can’t get invested in books without romance. If a woman says she doesn’t like romance in books, she’s just trying to prove she’s not like other girls”.

If you’re a (female) reader who craves books without romance, you’ve probably heard some variation of this. It’s a pain in the arse, but when people try to talk about the need for no-romance books, the response is often a rhapsody about the joys of romance in fiction.

Perhaps a little defensiveness is understandable. After all, romance novels are frequently dissed and dismissed. At best, they’re considered almost proper literature. At worst, they’re considered trashy and insubstantial. We trivialise romance so much that I’ve actually heard Jane Austen novels referred to as “chick lit” because they end with marriages.

But despite this undoubtedly sexist trivialisation of romance, it’s still the best-selling genre by far. It’s as pervasive as it is popular, with romantic storylines often featuring prominently in books of other genres. This can be an issue because believe it or not, there are people out there who don’t want to read kissing books.

There are many reasons for this. Firstly, can we please stop insisting that romantic love is a universal part of the human experience? It’s not. Many people (yours truly included) are aromantic – we don’t experience romantic attraction.

This doesn’t necessarily mean we don’t like romance in books – just ask Alice Oseman, the openly aromantic author of the Heartstopper graphic novels. But sometimes it means exactly that. Sometimes we’re icked out by romance, or we just can’t relate to it.

There are plenty of other reasons why a reader might be looking for a book without romance. Perhaps they’ve just gone through a horrible break-up and don’t want to read yet another book about how romantic love is the key to happiness. Perhaps they’re looking for a book for their teenage daughter and are drowning in a sea of YA novels about how important it is to have a boyfriend.

Probably the most common reason for wanting a romance-free book is just a craving for something different. Something where the plot isn’t overpowered by an unnecessary love triangle. Something where friendships or family relationships take centre stage. Something where characters are gazing out into the world together instead of into each other’s eyes.

So how do we find books with minimal romance? Here are my top tips:

Read books aimed at men

It pains me to say this, but when it comes to centring platonic relationships in fiction, dudes do it better. There’s no expectation for straight male writers targeting straight male readers to include romance in their books, and this frees them up to focus on other relationships. “Brothers in arms” type friendships and father-son relationships are particularly popular.

So grab a blokey book if you fancy a break from romance. Something with a sword on the cover. You might be pleasantly surprised at the emotional depth of the platonic relationships in these books.

Read middle grade

Although romance does make an occasional appearance in middle grade fiction, there tends to be much more focus on friendship. One of the loveliest things about MG is that it’s full of loving, uncomplicated, boy-girl friendships, which are rare as hens’ teeth in YA.

Look for clues…

OK, I realise my advice for finding romance-free books has been pretty depressing so far. I’m basically saying that if you’re female and over the age of 12, every book marketed at you will be chock full of romance.

But it’s actually a lot more nuanced than that, and figuring out the rules of romance in fiction can be fun. Here are some tips for figuring out which books are romance-heavy and which books are light on the kissing.

Clues in the genre: Outside of the romance genre, some genres are more likely to lean heavily on romantic storylines than others. For example, fantasy tends to have more romance than sci-fi. With historical fiction it gets really interesting, because apparently someone decided that certain time periods are romantic and others aren’t.

• Regency? Super romantic.
• Middle ages? Not romantic (too much plague).
• Vikings? Not romantic, but maybe a bit sexy.
• World War 1/2? Lots of tragic romance.
• Ancient Greece? Lots of gay romance.

Clues on the cover: If the front cover of a book aimed at adults shows two characters, this usually means they will do a romance at some point. But look carefully at the posing of the figures.

Characters looking at each other or standing back-to-back are almost certainly love interests, while characters both looking in the same direction (e.g. looking straight out of the cover) may have a platonic relationship.

Clues in the blurb: Sometimes a blurb will be explicit about a romantic storyline, and sometimes it will only hint at it. If a character’s appearance is mentioned, that character is probably a love interest. Also, if a female character moves to a small town and discovers purpose, friendship, and maybe more… the more is a dude and she hooks up with him.

If all else fails, Google is your friend. Type in “books with no romance” and you’ll get a bunch of recommendations, which might come as a relief to readers who feel like the odd one out for preferring fiction without romance. I’ll leave a couple of starting points for fiction categories that tend to be heavy on romantic storylines:

• 11 YA Books Without Romance to Add to Your TBR
• 11 Perfect Queer Books Without Romances

Happy reading! What is your favourite book with no (or just a little) romance?

The Three Types of “Bad” Review That Make Me Want to Read a Book

It’s pretty obvious why authors live in fear of bad reviews. Not only do they bruise the ego, they also damage sales. Readers frequently check reviews before buying books, and negative reviews are bound to put some of them off.

But maybe we should worry a little less about bad reviews, because it’s not quite as simple as bad review=no sale. Now that I think about it, there are certain types of bad review that actually make me more interested in a book.

The “unlikeable female protagonist” review

She’s a bitch. She’s toxic. She’s problematic. Hooray, I love her already! Reviewers often throw these words around to describe any female character with genuine flaws, rather than the Allowable Flaws For Women which are:

• Being chaotic (but never in a way that causes actual problems, just in a cute way)
• Being hot-tempered (but only with people who deserve it, not genuine anger issues)
• Swearing
• Having messy hair and bitten nails

I feel like the era of antiheroes ended too soon, and women and minorities never got to see enough characters like us being messed up and morally questionable. I’ll take a flawed and complicated female character over a perfect angel any day.

The “pacing issues” review

Nine times out of ten, when a reviewer says a book has pacing issues, they mean it is slow-paced. This might be an issue for that particular reader, but I’m often in the mood for a leisurely, reflective read, and a slow pace will suit me just fine.

If the review praises a book’s characters but says it’s “let down by pacing”, that probably means it’s a character-focussed book rather than a plot-focussed one. I read for character rather than plot (with a few genre-related exceptions, e.g. mysteries), so I’ll be happy to read it and hang out with the characters even if they aren’t going anywhere quickly.

The “unnecessary gay characters” review

“Waaaaaah, why are there LGBTQ characters in my fantasy/sci-fi/thriller/historical fiction? It’s forced diversity and the author’s just trying to be woke. Queer people didn’t exist before the 1980s anyway so it’s historically inaccurate.”

This type of review pops up when LGBTQ characters star in books that aren’t about romance, sexuality or gender identity. It always makes me want to read the story more because I’m a queer person who rarely reads romance, but I still want to see our awesome community represented in books.   

Are there any types of “bad” review that make you more tempted to pick up the book?

Nautical Fiction Reading Challenge

Happy New Year me hearties! My new year’s resolution is to read a bunch of nautical fiction, because that’s a resolution I will actually stick to. I’ve created my own reading challenge, so if you’re up for some adventures on the high seas, climb aboard.

Every book I read for this challenge will be in the nautical fiction genre, i.e. it will be set on or near the sea. If you’re playing along and find a book that ticks more than one of these boxes, feel free to count it for both.

1. Female protagonist

Nautical fiction is often a boys’ club, so challenge #1 is finding a female-centric book.

2. Set before 1500

A lot of nautical fiction is set during the “golden age of sail”, generally considered to be mid-1500s to mid-1800s. But people were navigating the seas long before this, and I’d love to read a sea story from ancient times.

3. Pirates!

Pirates are cool.

4. Diverse cast

Most of the nautical fiction I’ve read is pretty Eurocentric, so I’ll be looking for stuff that isn’t just a bunch of white dudes. LGBTQ representation is always welcome, and it would be awesome to see physically disabled characters thriving at sea.

5. Mystery

Honestly, I’m just itching to read a murder mystery set on a cruise ship.

6. Something by Patrick O’Brian

Because you can’t read nautical fiction without reading Patrick O’Brian.

7. Set during WW2

I know this period is over-done in historical fiction, but I’ve still never read any WW2-era hist fic set at sea.

8. Mermaids!

Mermaids are cool.

9. Animal magic

Sailors share the seas with fish, whales, sharks, and so many other creatures. I’d like to read a nautical story where animals are central to the plot.

10. Ships on ships

I rarely seek out romance in fiction because I tend to get much more invested in friendships and other platonic relationships. But in the spirit of exploration, I’m going to try a big swoony romance on the high seas.

Do you have any recommendations for any of these challenges?

2022 Wrap-up

Another year almost done and dusted. This one actually felt pretty… normal? I know the Covid pandemic has changed things in so many dramatic and complex ways, but here in the UK we’ve had no lockdowns at all this year, and things like hybrid working and optional masking have become a part of everyday life.

As for me, I moved out of shared housing and into my own flat that I only share with the rats in the walls (Bristol housing for the win). As someone who’s spent most of her adult life living alone, I really feel the need for my own space. But yeah, this place is not ideal. Gonna pretend I’m a writer in the olden days, wasting away from consumption in a mouldy garret.

Which brings us to…

Publication

I got two things published this year.

VOCSS is my first attempt at a proper horror story, and I managed to get it published in Electric Spec. Give it a read if you’re in the mood for vampires.

My poetry chapbook 16 Flavours of Ghost was published by Lapwing Publications. If you’re in the mood for ghosts, have a UK address and a spare £8 (postage included) I’d love to send you a copy. Just message me on Twitter @corastillwrites or Instagram @badfanartforgoodbooks.

Writing

I spent most of 2022 working on the first draft of my supernatural mystery novel The Redmaid Witch. I had that completed by November, so instead of doing NaNoWriMo, I did NaNoEdMo and spent the month doing some much-needed edits.

I’ve now handed it over to some beta readers and am anxiously awaiting their feedback. My first beta reader already got back to me and gave the story a big thumbs up, so I just need to hang on to that when the others give me a mile-long list of things that need fixing.

Alongside The Redmaid Witch, I managed to squeeze in three short stories. I was clearly in a Fantasy mood, because two of them involve characters travelling to fairy realms to retrieve stolen items/people. The third one took a slight departure and involves a young woman dealing with the fact that her dad is a serial killer.

Reading

I’ve read 26 books this year, exceeding my modest target of 24. A large chunk of my reading consisted of historical fiction, and a large chunk of that consisted of nautical fiction. I’m thinking of creating my own nautical fiction reading challenge for 2023, so if you like adventures on the high seas, watch this space…

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I’d love to hear about your writing and reading shenanigans this year. Favourite book? Least favourite? Wrote some poetry? Got anything published? Read 60 books and want to brag about it? Tell me in the comments!

The Historical Fiction Reading Challenge – Victorian Reader

I’ve read five historical fiction books so far this year, which means I’ve reached the “Victorian Reader” level of the Historical Fiction Reading Challenge. The three that I’ve read since my last reading challenge post are…

The Moth Diaries by Rachel Klein

Yes, it’s a YA horror novel, but it also counts as historical fiction since it was published in 2002 and it’s set in the early 1970s (judging by the references to the Vietnam war, bell bottoms, and Cat Stevens).

If you start this novel expecting a sapphic Twilight, you’ll be in for a surprise. It’s more like The Bell Jar with a supernatural twist. It takes a deep-dive into the mind of an intelligent, troubled girl, and explores her obsession with a classmate whom she suspects of being a vampire.

It’s intense, thoughtful, occasionally over-intellectual, and it wholeheartedly embraces ambiguity. Is Ernessa really a vampire? Is the narrator having a nervous breakdown? Is she in love with her best friend? Every question is thoroughly explored, but never truly answered, in the claustrophobic atmosphere of a girls’ boarding school.

So Many Beginnings by Bethany C. Morrow

This “remix” of Little Women (Authors are always remixing and retelling and reimagining, and never admit that they are literally publishing fanfiction) imagines the March sisters as four newly emancipated Black girls in the colony of Roanoke, North Carolina. The civil war is raging around them, and they are determined to build lives of their own making.

Being a white girl from Britain, I’m pretty clueless about African American history, and this was an eye-opener for sure. Racism and the after-effects of slavery impact every aspect of the girls’ lives, from Bethlehem’s health to Joanna’s writing career. This makes for a very different story to Little Women, as the “burdens” the girls carry are external rather than internal.

It’s not a perfect book. The male characters are thinly drawn, and a few inevitable anachronisms creep in. But it’s full of love and rage, and a true celebration of sisterhood. Two more things I loved:

1. Joanna’s portrayal as asexual/aromantic. These words aren’t used of course, but it’s made clear in conversation with Meg and in her relationship with Lori. As an aro-ace woman I usually have to seek out representation, but to find it right there waiting for me in a character I’ve always identified with felt like a gift.

2. The last line. OMG, you’re gonna cry (happy tears).

All Among the Barley by Melissa Harrison

Told from the perspective of fourteen-year-old Edie, this starts out as an evocative, unsentimental picture of life in rural England in the 1930s. It’s also a comedy of manners, with city slicker Connie being entertainingly clueless about the realities of rural life.

But about halfway through it becomes something different and more unsettling. People who seemed harmless are suddenly a genuine threat. Quaint traditions like witch bottles take on a new significance.

Maybe it’s just because I read the two close together, but I couldn’t help but notice similarities with The Moth Diaries. Once again, the protagonist is a thoughtful teenage girl of ambiguous sexuality and wobbly mental health. Once again, the lines between natural and supernatural blur. And once again, antisemitism rears its ugly head.

So, quite by accident I’ve ended up reading three female-focussed coming-of-age stories. I feel like I should balance it out with some stories about old dudes. If you have any historical fiction recs where the protagonist is an elderly gent, please leave them in the comments!

The Historical Fiction Reading Challenge – 20th Century Reader

This year I am taking part in the Historical Fiction Reading Challenge 2022, hosted here. There are six different levels to aim for, and they are:

• 20^th Century Reader – 2 books
• Victorian Reader – 5 books
• Renaissance Reader – 10 books
• Medieval – 15 books
• Ancient History – 25 books
• Prehistoric – 50+ books

Since historical fiction books are often chunky beasts, and since I don’t want to read only historical fiction this year, I’m going to aim for the Renaissance Reader level. I’ve now hit the 20^th Century Reader level, and here are the books I read…

The Evening and the Morning by Ken Follett

You know how I was saying historical fiction books are chunky? This one is 897 pages. It spans the years 997 to 1006, so it’s all Anglo Saxons, Normans and Vikings. It follows a boatbuilder, a noblewoman and a monk as their lives intertwine, and they contend with a Machiavellian bishop.

There’s a lot to like about this novel. It has a consistently engaging plot, full of twists, turns and intrigue. It doesn’t present a sanitised version of the past (slaves are pimped out, criminals are castrated) and there’s no silly straightwashing either (one of the main characters is gay and there are plenty of other queer characters).

Unfortunately, the depth of world-building and plot leaves the characters looking rather shallow, and I wanted more nuance from them. Also, I’m not entirely sold on Ken Follett’s style – too much exposition made me feel like I was getting a history lesson at times. I enjoyed reading this book, but it didn’t linger in my mind afterwards.

The Fortune of War by Patrick O’Brian

I can’t write anything sensible about Patrick O’Brian’s Aubrey-Maturin series because I love it too much. Instead, here are my five favourite things about this novel (mild SPOILERS):

1. Jack Aubrey’s hat gets eaten by a wombat in chapter one. Stephen Maturin is more concerned with his wombat’s digestion than Jack’s hat. These books are so f*cking funny and I always forget that until I start reading one.
2. There are a couple of actual, honest-to-God murders. In a series full of battles and bloodshed, these somehow manage to be shocking.
3. Jack and Stephen call each other “brother” all the time, which I guess is just the 19^th century equivalent of “bro”, but it hits those found-family feels all the same.
4. Stephen’s relationship with Diana Villiers is … rekindled? No, not exactly. Interesting stuff happens.
5. The battles. OMG, the battles.

I need three more hist fic books to reach the Victorian Reader level, and any recommendations will be gratefully received. Is anyone else doing the Historical Fiction Reading Challenge?

2021 Wrap-up

Hi friends, welcome to 2022! I hope your hangovers aren’t too bad and your new year’s resolutions aren’t broken yet.

To be honest, 2021 was a more challenging year for me than 2020. During 2020 I was mostly a smug introvert, making the most of lockdown by reading a lot, learning coin tricks and getting worryingly obsessed with MMA. But 2021 has been a rollercoaster, with some high points (publications, a new baby niece) and some low points (a break-up, a bereavement).

Here’s a sum-up of my 2021 writing and reading adventures:

Publishing

After publishing absolutely nothing last year, I managed to publish two books this year! The first was my debut novel, Other People’s Butterflies, published by Art Over Chaos. It’s a YA contemporary about identity, friendship, and trying to understand the world around you. Also 1940s spy shenanigans.

I got my first reviews, my first royalties, signed a few copies (one of them was actually for a fan rather than a family member!) and generally felt very much like a Proper Writer. I hope people continue to read it through 2022 but in order for that to happen I’ll have to get my arse in gear and actually do some marketing.

My second publication was a poetry chapbook called Monster Hunting for Girls Ages 8-14, published by Dancing Girl Press. It’s about the monsters that plague us during childhood and early adolescence, and the slow process of befriending them, defeating them, or learning to live with them.

Writing

Fiction-wise, I recently finished a 16,000 word sci-fi story called Goons. It’s weird, character-based, and contains the most dysfunctional found family I could dream up. It turns out that 16,000 word sci-fi stories are difficult to find a home for, so I’m thinking of publishing this on my blog.

Poetry-wise, I finished another chapbook called 16 Flavours of Ghost. It’s a bunch of character poems, each one from the perspective of a ghost. They’re a spirited bunch, with a lot to say about life despite being dead. I’m hoping to get some interest from chapbook publishers and I’m waiting to hear back from two of them, so wish me luck!

Reading

I read 21 books in 2021, which is pretty poor by my standards. I’ll aim for at least 24 this year, since 2 per month is usually do-able for me. I’ll also aim to keep reading plenty of fabulous indie and self-published books. As for 2021, my Book of the Year Award* goes to…

HMS Expedient by Peter Smalley. I couldn’t quite believe I was reading a nautical adventure and not wishing it was a Patrick O’Brian. I will definitely be following the careers of Captain Rennie and Lieutenant Hayter in future.

Thanks for reading my lovelies. Roll on 2022!

*Not an actual award. Book chosen was not published in 2021. Purely a reflection of what Cora likes best rather than objective quality.

Hyping Every Indie Book I’ve Read This Year

This year I’ve made an effort to read more indie-published and self-published books, and there have been some absolute gems. If you’re book shopping for Christmas, do consider adding one (or more) of these to your basket.

This entire list is very queer, particularly in terms of asexual and aromantic representation, but also other LGBT+ identities. If that’s your cup of tea, read on!

Common Bonds by Various authors

I’m being cheeky by including this, as one of the stories in this anthology (Spacegirl and the Martian) is mine. This Kickstarter-funded anthology is full of SFF stories focusing on aromantic protagonists and platonic relationships.

There are honestly some real treasures in here, with my personal favourite being Cinder – a witty, empowering fairytale re-telling that captures the joy and excitement of new friendship. There’s also an astronaut bonding with her dad in space, and two werewolf stories because aro people evidently love werewolves!

Create My Own Perfection by E.H. Timms

This short story is a re-telling of the Medusa myth, set at a university full of mythological beings. It uses the ancient tale to explore the ever-current issue of sexual harassment, and also shows the sharper edges of female friendship. Emma isn’t just kind and supportive to her friends – she’s also willing to do whatever it takes to defend them.

The Murder Next Door by Sarah Bell

Want to read about a sapphic couple solving a murder mystery in 1912? Of course you do! Sarah Bell’s debut is full of rich historical detail, and the central pairing of Ada and Louisa are brought vividly to life.

Despite the period setting, don’t expect a traditional “whodunnit”. The emphasis is less on who did the deed, and more on the meaty, nuanced issue of whether or not they deserve to be punished for it.

The Mesmerist’s Daughter by Heidi James

Good lord, the writing in this one is extraordinary! An unreliable, but highly observant narrator tells the story of a child whose mother is a wolf. Not literally. But maybe literally? Full of magic, but the kind of magic you get in horror movies rather than fairytales.

Streetlamps and Shepherd Moons by Katherine Highland

Streetlamps and Shepherd Moons is a slice-of-life novel that focuses on Diane – an autistic woman – and her attempts to navigate a confusing and sometimes hostile world. It’s an authentic, unfiltered take on autistic life that’s both thoughtful and thought-provoking.

This certainly isn’t a comfort read. Diane has an awful lot to deal with (often neurotypicals being clueless) but her difficulties and dramas are counterbalanced by the warmth of everyday comforts and human connection. The book is ultimately a celebration of creating the life you want and finding the people who matter.

The Dragon of Ynys by Minerva Cerridwen

Now this one is a comfort read. It’s a short and sweet story of a knight, a dragon, and a baker’s wife teaming up to search for the missing baker, and finding adventure and friendship along the way. It’s like those books about dragons you used to read as a kid, but with added LGBTQIA rep!

Any of these sparking your interest? And have you read any awesome indie books this year? Feel free to rave about them in the comments!

Top Ten Tuesday – Bookish Pet Peeves

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly meme where every Tuesday we look at a particular topic for discussion and use various (or more to the point ten) bookish examples to demonstrate that particular topic.  Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl and future weeks’ topics can be found here. This week’s topic is…

Bookish Pet Peeves

I’m usually an over-enthusiastic fangirl when it comes to books. I’m much more inclined to rave about the stuff I love than rant about the stuff I hate, but here’s the perfect excuse to have a good old bitch. My pet peeves are pretty varied, but a lot of them can be lumped into the two categories of “annoying romance stuff” and “annoying sexist stuff”.

1. Mary Sue characters

To clarify, I’m not using “Mary Sue” the way dude-bros on the internet use it, i.e. to describe a female character who is very powerful, succeeds where male characters fail, or just gets shit done.

I mean a female character who is completely perfect in an unrealistic and unsatisfying way. She has no flaws and no depth. She gets everything she wants despite never thinking of herself because of course she’s utterly selfless. Give me female characters who are relatable, real, and complex.

2. “Love interest” characters

Characters that exist purely to be a romantic fantasy always have me rolling my eyes. If a character has no personality beyond being charming, and no motivation beyond fulfilling the protagonist’s every desire, they might as well be a sexy robot.

3. The word “chuckle”

OK, maybe this one is just me, but I find it grating when characters chuckle. I feel like a chuckle is a very specific type of laugh, belonging mainly to elderly men. But so many writers seem to rely on it as the only way of conveying mild amusement.

4. Zero conflict

You know when a book has zero conflict and everyone is thoroughly decent and communicates properly at all times and the world is safe and peaceful and the book is basically like a big warm hug? I don’t like it.

Don’t get me wrong – I can absolutely see the value of these books. But I tend to find them a bit bland and cloying. A book like a warm hug is all very well, but I want a book that will hug me and also punch me in the stomach. Yep, I’m a weirdo.

5. Only one (1) female character

I like to think this trend is dying out, but it used to be common in SFF. Despite women making up half the population, it apparently made sense to have just the one female character. And she would do female things like being alluring, sleeping with the protagonist, and wearing sexy armour.

6. Everyone must be coupled up at the end

Readers like romance, right? So you should have as much of it as possible, right? So every character should end up in a long-term relationship, thereby implying that romantic partnership is the only “happily ever after” that exists, right? Bleurgh. Let some characters stay single.

7. Baddie does bad things because he’s bad

Cartoonish villains who are evil because they like being evil have their place, but that place is generally in pantomimes and Disney films. Antagonists are an ideal vessel for exploring the darker side of human nature, and it always feel like a missed opportunity when a writer fails to address their motivation.

8. Flowery descriptions of eyes

We’ve all seen the jokes about male writers being obsessed with their female characters’ tits (“She breasted boobily down the stairs”) but I feel like a lot of female writers have an equally weird obsession with eyes.

An attractive character’s eyes will never just be “blue” or “dark”- they have to be “cerulean” or “obsidian”. And they’re always doing stuff like flashing, or smouldering, or turning the colour of storm clouds, or being windows to the soul. Calm down love, they’re just blobs of jelly.

9. Women in refrigerators/Bury your gays

“Women in refrigerators” is a term from comic book fandom to describe how female characters are frequently murdered in order to motivate the male protagonist and move the story forward. “Bury your gays” is a similar trope that treats LGBT+ characters as disposable. Both leave a bitter taste in the mouth.

10. Human characters growling

I get it. It’s supposed to be erotic and intense. It’s supposed to hint at untamed emotions and animalistic power roiling beneath a character’s surface. But it just seems kind of … silly.

Do any of these make your list of pet peeves? Am I on my own regarding the word “chuckle”?